1. The Country That Wants To Go To War With The U.S. Over A Rogen-Franco Movie Just Got A Little Bit Closer To Possessing Long-Range Missiles

South Korean officials are reporting that the North Korean military carried out an unpleasantly successful test of several missiles earlier today. The projectiles—which somehow did not immediately fall to the ground and fizzle out while spurting sparks and missile juice onto the ground after being fired toward the country's eastern waters—are presumed to be short-range Scud ballistic missiles.