1. Kim Jong Un Wins 100% Of The Vote In Totally Legitimate North Korean Election-Type Thing

Now that supreme leader Kim Jong Un—who was running uncontested in North Korea's national elections yesterday—has walked away with a solid 100% of the vote, everybody can stop questioning the legitimacy of his dystopian dictatorship and accept him as the universally beloved father figure of the country. Nonexistent nameless opponent must be feeling pretty badly about himself today.