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1. Are We Even Pretending That We're Not All Going To Be Wearing These Stupid Apple Watches In Five Years?

While Gizmodo's Mario Aguilar makes a compelling argument for why none of us should buy this first-generation version of the Apple Watch, we're all in agreement that we're all going to buy the watch eventually, right? I mean, not right away! We'll obviously spend a lot of time mocking it and making fun of the people we see wearing it. But then, in a couple months or a couple years, we'll start quietly eyeballing it online and trying to work its $350 selling price into our budgets. This is just the cycle of things. It's best to accept it.