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1. Fred Phelps Was Excommunicated From Westboro Baptist Church For Being Insufficiently Intolerant

When news hit a few days ago that Westboro Baptist Church's Fred Phelps is near death in a Topeka hospice, it was also revealed that the 86-year-old notoriously anti-gay religious leader had been recently excommunicated from the church he founded. According to new information, it appears that Phelps was cast into the wilderness for the unforgivable sin of wanting a "kinder approach between church members." Hopefully, his newly found grace will help take the edge off when he's posthumously turned gay by a bunch of Satanists.