1. 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron' Is Your Leader Now
Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron pulled in an astonishing $27.6 million dollars on its first night in theaters, putting it on track to be the top earning movie in its opening weekend. Resistance in futile. You will see this movie. You will.
Will I still enjoy this Avengers movie even if I don't plan on seeing the next twelve?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 1, 2015
2. Chris Christie's Bridge Scandal Re-Emerges Just In Time To Remind Republicans Why They Love Him
The specter of scandal has descended upon N.J. Gov. Chris Christie after his ally David Wildstein pled guilty to his part in closing lanes of the George Washington Bridge in an apparent act of political revenge. Expect Christie's support among Republican voters to spike in the next day or so.
David Wildstein pled guilty in Bridgegate scandal. Chris Christie maintains his innocence saying he was praying to Baby Jesus at the time.— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 1, 2015
3. Samantha Bee Leaves 'The Daily Show' Before 'The Daily Show' Has A Chance To Leave Her
Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee said goodbye last night to the television show she appeared on for the past twelve years. The comedian—who will soon be appearing as the host of her own news satire show over on TBS—was tearing up during her final appearance, as was every person who was watching it.
Tonight a retrospective of my 12(!) years @TheDailyShow. Prediction: my salty tears short circuit the NYC electrical grid: full blackout.— Samantha Bee (@iamsambee) April 30, 2015
4. Tesla Develops Technology To Turn Your Home Into An Unlimited Source Of Superiority
Tesla Motors has just unveiled the Tesla Powerwall, a large rechargeable lithium ion battery capable of powering a home through solar power. It is selling for $3,000 and is capable of humbling up to twelve friends or co-workers daily.
I'm going to walk into a Tesla dealership and yell I'M BACK BITCHES! and see if they give me one.— Sarah Meyer (@sarahjeanious) April 20, 2015
5. Woman Needs Stitches After Being Bit By Barbra Streisand (Or Possibly Her Dog)
A flight attendant on a plane ride from from New York City to Washington, DC required stitches after being bit on the hand by an agitated Barbra Streisand. (Or maybe it was her dog. Sorry, I should have paid better attention when reading this story.) “This never happened before and Barbra apologized profusely to the flight attendant,” a representative of legendary singer told Page Six.
Happy birthday to Barbara Streisand! And a big shout-out to the peasant villager's chosen as sacrifices to keep Bab's looking FABULOUS!— William_Shartner (@Blarebare) April 24, 2014