1. Tom Brady Suspended—No Cheating For Four Games
The NFL has decided to suspend New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady for four games and fine his Super Bowl-winning team $1 million for breaking league policy prohibiting players from getting caught cheating.
Tom Brady just offered a solemn and apologetic jerking-off gesture.— Brian Boone (@brianadamsboone) May 12, 2015
2. George Zimmerman Will Live To Be In A Shooting Incident Again Someday
Professional vigilante George Zimmerman suffered only minor injuries to his face during a shooting incident yesterday in Florida. The shooter contends that he "had to shoot at" Zimmerman, whom he told authorities was threatening him. I don't know. Doesn't sound like the George Zimmerman we know.