5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - May 15, 2015

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - May 15, 2015
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1. B.B. King's Gibson Guitar Lucille Left A Widow

The world is in morning today, after blues legend B.B. King died from complications related to diabetes yesterday. This terrible news comes just two weeks after the passing of soul legend Ben E. King. R&B singer Bobby King would be wise to watch his back.


2. Texas Might Legalize Recreational Marijuana, Except That It Probably Won't

Texas's conservative-led House Criminal Jurisprudence Committee voted 5-2 in favor of legalizing recreational marijuana use for adults last week. This is a pretty big deal from a cultural and legal perspective. No subset of a legislative body in the nation has backed marijuana legalization before. However, as Gov. Greg Abbott has promised to veto any such bill that came across his desk, this effort has as much chance of surviving the full legislative process as a joint does of making it all the way through a Bob Markey cover band's Tuesday night rehearsal.


3. 'Mad Max: Fury Road' Gives Film Goers A Chilling Vision Of About Five Or Six Years From Now

George Miller's newest installment of his Mad Max post-apocalyptic action series is getting great response from critics and audiences alike, putting it on track to knock Avengers: Age of Ultron from the top spot at the box office and garnering a 99 percent popularity score on Rotten Tomatoes. Who'd have thought that a speculative docudrama about the after effects of a Clinton presidency would prove so popular?

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4. America Is About To Run Out Of Internet

The United States is poised to burn through the final few million of the Internet's original 4.3 billion Internet Protocol addresses by the end of the summer. Luckily, we'll seamlessly be able to switch over from the IPv4 system we're currently using to a newer IPv6 system that has 340 undecillion addresses, 5 undecillion of which will not immediately be snatched up for porn.


5. 'Mad Men' Draws To Close This Weekend Despite Your Best Efforts At Denial

AMC's Mad Men will air its final episode this Sunday. GODDAMNIT!!!!

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