1. Most Famous Person On Earth Somehow Breaks A Twitter World Record
Just five hours after joining Twitter on Monday, U.S. President Barack Obama broke Twitter's record for gaining 1 million followers. The previous record holder was actor Robert Downey, Jr., who required more than 23 hours to amass the same number of followers. It's nice to see somebody finally knocking that pompous jerk down a peg or two.
Now that Obama is on Twitter, maybe he could make pacifying all Hashtag Wars a national priority.— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) May 19, 2015
2. We're Getting Hillary Clinton's Boring Work Emails Sooner Than Expected
In a move that is certain to make a lot of people's Tea Party uncles very happy, a U.S. district court has ordered that the U.S. Department of State must begin a rolling release of the emails written by Hillary Clinton during her tenure as Secretary of State beginning next week instead of in January, as was originally planned. Surely, at least one of the 55,000 emails has to include the phrase "...and that's when I decided to plan the whole Benghazi thing."
Hillary Clinton will release 55k emails. These emails are so explosive, that just their printing will lead to black lines appearing all over— Adam Cozens (@Adam_Cozens) May 19, 2015
3. Science: Heat Waves To Quadruple By 2050 Despite Global Warming Being A Myth
By the middle of this century, U.S. residents will experience waves of extreme heat somewhere between 400 and 600 percent more often than today, according to research from the National Center for Atmospheric Research. This will likely be caused by environmental activists flying spaceships to the Sun and dousing it with huge canisters of gasoline in an effort to further their insidious liberal agenda.
I calmed down about global warming when I realized the worst that could happen would be human civilization ending.— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) May 2, 2015
4. Spoiler Alert: David Letterman's 33 Years On TV Has Been A Prelude To Really Great Ad For Coca-Cola
After 33 years and more than 6,000 shows, David Letterman will sit down as the host of his own late night talk show for the very last time. Fans are on pins and needles to see how his career will end, with many speculating that he will either jump out of a window or fly away to a tropical island to begin a new life under a new name.
Working with David Letterman was a career highlight is what we'd be tweeting today if we'd ever gotten to work with him— Levinson Brothers (@LevinsonBros) May 20, 2015
5. Woman Who Preached The Beauty Of Human Suffering To Be Made Official Saint
Mother Teresa—the Albanian born nun who has been honored the world over for her work with the poor and sick—will officially be canonized by the Catholic Church in 2016. "There is something beautiful in seeing the poor accept their lot, to suffer it like Christ's Passion. The world gains much from their suffering," she preached, though she nobly refused the opportunity to suffer so beautifully herself (instead accepting palliative care), when she was dying in 1997. What a selfless person. I can't think of anybody who deserves this honor more.
I'm sort of like a modern day Mother teresa. I always rate my uber drivers AFTER I've stopped being furious with them.— caitlin stasey (@caitlinstasey) March 13, 2015