5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - May 4, 2015

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - May 4, 2015
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1. Ben Carson Just Announced Plans To Be Yet Another Guy You Won't Vote For In 2016

Ben Carson—a extremely right-wing conservative neurosurgeon who jokes about poisoning gay people and has never held office in his life—has announced his intension to stand in front of a lot of crowds and television cameras and say silly things that will get him on the news a lot in the 18-month run-up to the 2016 presidential election. "I'm not a politician," he said to a bunch of people who suddenly have a reason to listen to what he has to say. "I don't want to be a politician because politicians do what is politically expedient. I want to do what's right."


2. Pathetic 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron' Fails Miserably In Its Attempt To Break Debut Weekend Box Office Records

Executives at Disney and Marvel Studios must feeling pretty bad right about now. Avengers: Age of Ultron only made a lousy $191.3 million this weekend, falling short of the world record (held by the original Avengers film) by $16 million. Oh, well. Looks like this comic book movie fad is already over. It was nice while it lasted.

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3. Motorola Thinks You're Going To Eat Their 'Password Pill'

Motorola is reportedly developing an edible “authentication vitamin” pill that, when swallowed, transmits an 18-bit, EKG-esque signal from your digestive tract. The signal will effectively make your body a living, breathing password for all of your devices. I mean, it would if you were actually going to eat this, which you won't. Still, neat idea. Neat and terrifying idea.


4. Lucasfilms Released A Handful Of New 'Star Wars' Pictures Because They Knew People Like Me Would Write About It

In honor of May the 4th, Lucasfilm and Vanity Fair have released a bunch of official photos, taken by Annie Lebowitz, from the set of the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens, including this of Game of Thrones actress Gwendoline Christie in costume as some kind of a bowling trophy or something.

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5. Author Who Writes Long, Rambling Stories Full Of Lots Of Trippy Imagery Is Also A Big Grateful Dead Fan

George R.R. Martin has just revealed that he is not only a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but that he has allowed his love of the iconic hippy band to influence the writing of A Song of Ice and Fire. This probably explains why so many of the characters on the show are naked and look like they need a bath.

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