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1. Ben Carson Just Announced Plans To Be Yet Another Guy You Won't Vote For In 2016

Ben Carson—a extremely right-wing conservative neurosurgeon who jokes about poisoning gay people and has never held office in his life—has announced his intension to stand in front of a lot of crowds and television cameras and say silly things that will get him on the news a lot in the 18-month run-up to the 2016 presidential election. "I'm not a politician," he said to a bunch of people who suddenly have a reason to listen to what he has to say. "I don't want to be a politician because politicians do what is politically expedient. I want to do what's right."