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1. Internet Remains Fully Operational 16 Hours After Kim Kardashian's Ass Attempts To Take It Down 

Despite its best efforts, the shimmering backside of professional celebrity Kim Kardashian has thus far failed in a terrorist attempt to take "#BreakTheInternet." Nearly a day and a half after Kardashian and her butt uploaded images of themselves on the new Paper Magazine cover, the Internet remains in one piece. To learn more about this pressing issue, check pretty much any legitimate news source