1. It's A Holiday Miracle! Republicans Discover True Spirit Of Giving $450 Billion In Tax Breaks To Millionaires

Congressional Republicans—who, in very recent memory, chose to shut down the government rather than raise nation's debt ceiling—have suddenly had a shocking change of heart. Conservative legislators announced plans yesterday to add $450 billion to the deficit over the next decade in order to facilitate tax breaks for the country's wealthiest citizens. Unfortunately, the evil Grinch who lives in the White House derailed their plans by promising the veto any such bills.