5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 27, 2013

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 27, 2013
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 27, 2013

1. Slum-Themed Spa Allows Rich People To Live Like Poor People Would If They Were Rich People

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a slum with perfectly maintained hot-and-cold running water, functional toilets and comfortable heating? Want to know what it's like on the other side, where poor people check up on the stock market with high speed wifi internet service? Well then, this Shanty Town-themed Emoya Luxury Hotel and Spa in South Africa is the perfect vacation getaway for you. And the best part: no real poor people for you to interact with. Except for the staff most likely. But they're instructed not to talk to you.


2. The White House Wants You To Choose Which Turkey It Should Murder

The Obama administration has released two candidates to be the National Thanksgiving Turkey that the President will pardon publicly. The other, we're assuming, will be eaten. Or, worse yet, will be forced to caucus with the Republicans. Sadly, though, both turkeys seem unfit for such dismal fates. If only there were some way to make the turkeys less sympathetic... If only... 

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 27, 2013


3. This Video Of Two Women Twerking On The Subway Tracks Is Pretty Much The "Gone With The Wind" Of Our Generation

The only thing that could make this video more likely to be remembered as a cultural touchstone of 2013 would be if it were called "Lee Daniels' Two Women Twerking On NYC Subway Tracks."

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4. Winter Storm Determined To Make Traveling Home For The Holidays Even More Miserable Than Being Home For The Holidays

One of the busiest travel days of the year will be made even shittier than you were imagining, since a huge winter storm is making its way east, bringing snow, sleet, rain and all kinds of airport delays. On the plus side, nobody in the airport lobby where you'll be spending the night is likely to asking you if that fancy college you're wasting your money on has made you gay yet.

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5. YouTube Can't Prevent Its Comments Section From Being Molested By ASCII Penises

One might think that the very least we could expect from YouTube — since Google decided to purposefully break it by forcefully integrating the Google+ that nobody wants to use into the video site's comment section — would be an increased quality of comments. And these ASCII drawings of genitalia that are inundating the site actually kind of bears that out. So, good work!

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 27, 2013

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