1. GOP Fails To Win About Two Or Three Contests In Midterm Elections 

Republicans nationwide are hanging their heads in disappointment this morning after their party allowed several Democrats to win in yesterday's midterm elections. This means that when Mitch McConnell takes over as Senate Majority Leader in January, he will be forced to deal with the handful of Democratic politicians left on the Senate floor, including Harry Reid, whom, it is assumed, will be kept crated during congressional proceedings.