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1. Brooklyn Man Suffers Same PTSD As A Military Bomb Disposer Might, Except With Regard To Toilets

A Brooklyn man's life has been transformed into a waking nightmare full of potentially-lethal bathroom fixtures, after he narrowly escaped death when his toilet exploded last week, leaving him unconscious and riddled with bits of shrapnel. He has now been forced to flush his toilet with a rope from the safety of the hallway, due to his intense fear of the "porcelain bomb" in his bathroom.