1. Having Accomplished Zero Of Its Goals, GOP Reluctantly Allows U.S. Government To Go Back Its Normal Level Of Dysfunction

Ted Cruz and his fellow Republicans entered into the government shutdown/debt ceiling negotiations with a long list of demands, including the delaying and dismantling of Obamacare, denying birth control coverage to women and relaxed environmental regulations. The American public counter-offered with historically-low popularity and humiliating political defeat, which the GOP snapped up just before a 81-18 Senate vote and a 285-144 House vote sent a bill to the President's desk to re-open the government. On the bright side for conservatives, Ted Cruz is now a household name.