1. Oscar Pistorius Unable To Evade Jail Time, Even With Those Fancy Carbon Fiber Running Blades
Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years in prison today for "gross negligence" in shooting his fiancée multiple times last Valentine's Day. Speaking of "gross negligence," the South African legal system is expected to spit him back out onto the street within a year.
Oscar Pistorius will spend 5 years in prison, running on a giant hamster wheel generating power for the electric chair/warden's iPad Mini.— Mark Leggett (@markleggett) October 21, 2014