1. Chris Brown Now In Rehab Clinic Because Apparently They Have Rehab For Assholes

After getting arrested over the weekend for for beating up some dude in a hotel parking lot, R&B star Chris Brown has decided to enter a rehab clinic to rehabilitate his public image. Or perhaps, as a unnamed friend spun it, because he “self-medicates with weed and alcohol.” They probably don’t have a box for “So I don't go to jail” on the entry form to those places.