5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 5, 2013

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 5, 2013
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 5, 2013

1. National Weather Service Hides A Message To Congress In Bulletin

An apparent cryptography-aficionado at the National Weather Service's Anchorage, Alaska office — one of the 4,000 NWS employees currently working without pay during the government shutdown — embedded a secret message to Congress in one of yesterday's updates.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 5, 2013

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 5, 2013


2. Little Baby Unfairly Compared to John Boehner In New "Temper Tantrum" Ad For Sunday Football

A innocent tearful toddler — who has played no part whatsoever in the partisan-driven shutdown of the U.S. government or the thousands of undelivered paychecks for furloughed government employees — will be unfairly dragged into the political debate during Sunday's Cincinnati Bengals-New England Patriots game, thanks to a Democratic super PAC-funded ad, titled "Temper Tantrum," aimed at mocking Rep. John Boehner's refusal to call a vote for a budget plan to reopen the government.

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3. Men Are Better Drivers Than Women, Rules Completely Impartial Male Judge

In a legal case involving a driving school in Zaragoza, Spain that charged less money for male students than their female counterparts, who supposedly require more hours of teaching, a judge ruled in favor of the discriminative policy because "every single year, men displayed greater dexterity and better open road skills [than women]" according to statistics from Spain’s Directorate of Traffic he decided were valid. 

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4. Man Sets Self On Fire At National Mall To Protest Something Or Other Maybe

An unidentified man who doused himself with gasoline and set himself on fire at the National Mall before the Capitol Building for undetermined reasons was airlifted to a local hospital, where it is unclear whether or not he will survive. A witness to the incident said the man might have said something before acting, though "it was nothing intelligible." But he got the message out, and that's what's important.

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5. Waiter Allegedly Hid Bacon In Muslim Woman's Straw Just To Be A Dick

A Muslim patron at a Garland, Texas TGI Friday's location says she was tricked into eating bacon — a food that she cannot eat under Islamic law — by a server who allegedly hid a small piece of the unclean meat product in the straw of her iced tea. TGI Friday's officials are working with the woman to figure out what happened and why any person would do something like this.

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