1. Mike Huckabee Is So Mad At The GOP For Not Hating Gay People Enough

Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee announced to the American Family Association's radio audience that he is "utterly exasperated with Republicans" who aren't adequately frothing at the mouth over nationwide advances in marriage equality, going so far as to claim that he will leave the party unless everyone learns to hate their fellow humans as deeply as he does. "You lose me, I'm gone, I'll become an independent," Huckabee threatened. "I'm tired of this."