1. Scottish Citizens Briefly Stop Off At The Polls On Their Way To The Bar Today

Millions of partially sober Scottish voters head to the polls to decide the fate of their neck of the British Isles. This could either be the most important day in Scottish independence since Mel Gibson was disemboweled by that guy from The Prisoner, or it could be just another day that England gets to keep something that doesn't belong to it. We'll know after the polls close at 10 p.m. BST.