5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - September 27, 2013

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - September 27, 2013
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - September 27, 2013


1. Kanye West Is Furious That Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't Treat His Ridiculous Behavior More Seriously

Hip-hop artist Kanye West unleashed a barrage of vitriolic capitol letters at Jimmy Kimmel on Twitter last night over a sketch in which the late night host cast two children to act out a recent BBC interview in whichKanye  West said a bunch of weird and conceited Kanye West-like things about how great Kanye West is.

 

2. Global Warming Caused By Humans, According To U.N. Report That Will Not Make One Iota Of Difference To Deniers

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A new climate change report from the U.N. — showing that humans are responsible for at least half of the global warming researchers have observed in the past several decades — will allow people who accept anthropogenic climate change to feel more smug than they already do while likely changing the mind of exactly zero climate change deniers who are unimpressed with things like research, statistics and facts.

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3. Bill Clinton And McDonald's Team Up To Promote One Thing Associated With Neither of Them: Healthiness

Former President Bill Clinton and fast food restaurant chain McDonald's announced yesterday that they will be working together to promote healthy eating and hopefully reverse the trend of obesity in America and the world. No, really. That's not a joke. They're planning to utilize Happy Meal packaging to "generate excitement" for fruits and vegetables. Still not joking. Totally serious.

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4. Company That Makes Long Savory Shafts For You To Put In Your Mouth Boycotted Over Anti-Gay Remarks

The Barilla pasta company became the target of a boycott after its CEO Guido Barilla told a radio interviewer that his company would never feature gays in its advertisements because "the concept of the sacred family remains one of the basic values of the company" and that gay people can eat another kind of pasta if they don't like it. After it became apparent that people were following his advice, he issued an apology which somehow managed to be more offensive than his original statement.

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5. Check For $2 Million Made Out To Some Idiot Found In Wallet On Subway

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A wallet containing a check for $2 million — made out to an unidentified California man who's dumb enough to carry a check for $2 million around with him in his wallet — was found wedged between two doors on a Madrid, Spain Metro train. The wallet was apparently placed there by an unidentified thief who's dumb enough to leave a check for $2 million in a wallet that he just stole off of some moron.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - September 27, 2013

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