Nicholas Salerno, 90, of Dennis Port, MA, got himself charged with soliciting a prostitute after he called police to his home to report that a prostitute he'd solicited had stolen a necklace from his home. According to the Cape Cod Times, when Mr. Salerno was informed that police would be forced to charge him with a crime as well, he replied, "I don't give a shit, I'm 90 years old."

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Lesson learned, prostitutes: don't steal from a man who has nothing to lose from the revelation that he hires prostitutes.