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I am ready. By your gametes combined, I am Captain Grandma!

I am ready. I do not know how old you are now, apparently, but I am confident that it is within reproductive range. Maybe you're 14, maybe you're 44; the point is, I'm ready. I know it is your birthday, though, because it was the day I became a mother, the second-most-important thing a woman can be, after a grandmother. I am ready. When? When can I have it? Me. I want it. It's mine. When can you spend 9 months putting your body through massive changes, crescendoing into a day-long festival of pain and screaming, to give my grandchild to me? I am ready.

Sources: redditor BSCavalier