Tom's mental image of himself. (via)

Pity Tom, the finance guy. All he wanted was to meet a nice gal on Tinder and cook her a meal. Which, in the high-stakes, big-money world that Tom inhabits, means sticking his dick in her mouth. And what does Tom, a guy who "made 32k since June" get for his more-than-generous offer to allow a lowly account manager the privilege of giving him a blow job? Rudeness and rejection, that's what.

Well Tom's not the kind of guy who's used to rejection. At least not from ladies with a "second chin," whose "eyes are too far apart." So he did the mature thing, and let her know that his feelings were hurt. Like, really hurt. And that his "mind=blown."

Sources: Jezebel | imgur | Cooper Fleishman