She gave birth the old fashioned way.
Amber Pangborn was nine months pregnant when she decided to hit up the casino, as most third trimester women are wont to do. After shooting some craps and getting in a fight at the blackjack table, she got in the car to return to her parents' house. As she was driving, a thought entered her mind: Didn't I hear something about a short cut around here? Through the back woods or something? You know what? Tonight is the perfect night to try that out.
And so she did. A few hours later, she was in the middle of the woods without gas or cell service. And then her water broke.
"And this is the hospital where you were born, honey." (via KCRA)
She gave birth that night, which was a Thursday, but she remained in the woods for three days, subsisting only on apples and modest amounts of water. She had to fend off mosquitoes and bees, who "wanted [her] placenta." When Amber's supplies were running out on Saturday, she made a signal fire to try and catch someone's attention. The signal fire kind of turned into a forest fire, but hey, environmentalism takes a backseat when perverted bees are trying to eat your placenta. The fire was eventually spotted by the U.S. Forest Service, who found Amber when they came to investigate.
The baby was born prematurely, so it's currently in the hospital, but Pangborn's mother has reported that it's "doing great." Pangborn is incredibly grateful for the way things turned out. All in all, it looks like a crisis was truly averted.
There is one weird detail, however; Pangborn's mom said that her daughter went to the casino "hoping to induce labor." Is that a thing? That's not a thing, right?