Guards ignored this prisoner's six-day erection. Now he has a lot of money and not much else.

Guards ignored this prisoner's six-day erection. Now he has a lot of money and not much else.
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If you thought serious news outlets were above making dick jokes about it, you thought wrong.

Guards ignored this prisoner's six-day erection. Now he has a lot of money and not much else.

Chronic Boner Syndrome is no laughing matter. (via ThinkStock)

When it initially started, Cotton asked to be taken to the clinic, since his pen-15 club was hurting. The guard wouldn't let him go, since it was a holiday weekend. Cotton then faked having chest pains so he could see the doctor immediately. When he finally saw the doctor, he was only given ice packs and Tylenol.

A few days later, the prison finally realized that Cotton wasn't just a weirdly erotic hypochondriac. He had to be taken to the hospital for surgery that would relieve the swelling. The surgery was botched because of a problem with the stitches, however, and Cotton suffered pretty bad injuries. According to the lawsuit:

“He suffered permanent injuries to his penis, including loss of function, mutilation of penis, continued pain and discomfort...,"

Turns out the erection from hell was a side effect of the anti-depressant medication Cotton was prescribed over a decade earlier. After filing a court suit, Cotton was awarded $750,000 for his injuries (he was given $125,000 for each day he had the boner). Although that's a lot of money, Cotton says he'd rather have a functioning penis. According to the New York Daily News, he's pissed that his "manhood" was taken, and according to the New York Post, his sex life has taken a hit:

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“I put up a facade," he said. “There's a young lady in the building who likes me. I'm scared to try anything with her. I take her out. I take her to Red Lobster. I take her to Outback. I do things for her son. But I don't think I'm going to try having sex with her. It would be too embarrassing."

Hopefully she can appreciate him for who he is, and they can have a rockin' time at Red Lobster and Outback without having sex mess everything up. Even though the headline to Rodney's story is funny, what happened to him is pretty messed up. Not messed up enough for a bunch of different news outlets to avoid making the same shitty joke, though:

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"The hefty payout amounts to $125,000 for each day of hard time served by Rodney Cotton" — New York Post

"His hard times began when he was prescribed the anti-psychotic drug Risperdal" — New York Daily News

"The hard times suffered by Cotton prompted him to file a $10 million lawsuit against New York City" — RT

Come on, guys.

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