More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.
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More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

The family that hires a stripper together, stays together. Weirdly together.

At this point all we can do is spectulate as to exactly why child protective services will someday come for Snooki's baby, Lorenzo. Maybe it's because of an underage tanning incident? Maybe it's because a roided-out Ronnie ends up screaming "Come at me bro!" before proceeding to punch the baby in the face? All we know at this point is that they will come for him. In the meantime, though, here are twenty-three examples of state-intervention worthy parenting to hold you over.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Oh he loves it. It reminds him of his box at home."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"He just loves it when I turn on the Slurpee machine over him."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Gotta make sure I put this backpack down safely."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Good thing he won't remember this. Or anything, ever.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"I'm teaching him how to trade bread for rabies."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Oh, he's just tuckered out from being dragged all over town. Behind our car."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Boot 'n wally, bwo. You were cwazy wast night."

 

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More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Jonah could never explain why he was consumed with a desire to open a motel.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Well, I'm a very unsafe biker, so I don't want my baby scared by oncoming traffic."

 

Posted 8/28/12:

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"What? This is the only way I can get her to take a nap."
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Reminder: "If you see something, say something" applies to neglectful parenting too!
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"Oh, the baby is fine. They're just rocks!"
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"He said he liked it in there. Ok, not 'said,' per se, since he can't talk, but he implied it!"
 

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More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Come on, parents, that's what the tricycle lane is for!
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

The sooner your baby can start preparing for college, the better.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Enjoy it now kid because when you grow up you've got to pay women to let you do that.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

In fairness, shielding the baby from what looks like a Phish concert is pretty responsible.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Million dollar idea: Nipple shaped beer taps.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

The worst father AND landscaper ever.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Cheaper than buying the cars for him, minus the impending hospital costs.


More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Ok, at least she asked the kid to cover his face with a bottle of water.
 

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More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Looks like someone's mommy doesn't want her being buried in a Jewish cemetery.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Well, that's one way to avoid laptop burns.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"What? The 300 pound boxes are protecting him."


More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

It's all fun and games until it's the snake's turn to hug the kid. 
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Maybe they're hoping the exposure will give the kids super powers?
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"They're in car seats. Wait, why do they need to be secured to something again?"
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Elbow rule!!!
 

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More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

In fairness, he dropped a $20 down there.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

More than 3 ounces, to the TSA waste bin with you!
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

Ironically, this incident will probably be what makes her become a stripper later in life.
 

More examples of awful parenting that rival anything your parents ever did to you.

"I can't just protect my baby from touching every electric fence, you know."

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