There's so much going on in this crazy thing called life that sometimes your busy mind lets you down a little bit and causes accidental mishaps. These are known as brain farts. Brain farts are a common ailment, one you don't have to suffer alone. Read these 21 people's stories from Reddit and take comfort in the fact that the brain's autopilot momentarily failing is a universally hilarious problem.
1. Derped_my_pants likes to bond with strangers.
Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.
I high-fived him.
Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
2. MisterEvilBreakfast thought he knew what he was doing.
Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.
The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "Fuck, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
3. Slayer9019 was ready to do whatever TSA wanted.
I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...
I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not that many people fly at like 430am.
4. Miss_Sangwitch has visibility problems in their stomach.
I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.
5. Everyone has done some version of pixlepix's rather idiotic mix-up.
Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.
I was driving.
6. KMApok was ready for the day to end.
The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.
The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.
7. BuffyandtheHellcats enjoys a good cuddle in the evening.
Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.
8. Bits_of_paper is a sweaty person.
Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on.
9. Danseaman6 gave some love to the wrong creature.
When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.
10. WeimarRepublic was caught in the act.
Grabbed milk from the fridge
Grabbed a dinner plate from the cupboard
Began tilting the gallon jug toward the dish
Was about to pour myself a plate of milk when my mom walks by and asks what the fuck I'm doing
11. Arndta is a dedicated worker.
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.
My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
12. At least ladybookworm tried to put some fresh TP on the roll.
I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.
13. A-Perfect-Triangle loves the taste of music.
I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.
14. Ungulate decided to ditch his ride.
I once got my car impounded via brain-autopilot.
I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home.
A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back.
Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
16. SalsaPicanteMasFina will not be winning any cooking shows.
17. Katieisalady was very focused.
20. Nbqt2015's brain fart had lasting ramifications.
it was 2am and way past bedtime, and I'd pulled an all nighter the previous night too. while finally clearing the table I was playing video games on, I decided to put all the water bottles away that had been out for days and days. I tossed the empty ones but my cat was being rambunctious and trying to open the trash can, so I picked her up.
I was holding my cat and putting some unfinished water bottles back in the fridge. she struggled free and hopped onto the counter but I was too tired to scold her so I continued grabbing huge amounts (6 or 7 at a time, both hands) of half-full water bottles from the counter and into the fridge
I pick them up, I put them in the fridge, I pick them up, i put them in the fridge, I pick her up. I put her in the fridge. I close the fridge. I take two minutes to finish up the dishes. I turn off the kitchen light. I hear faint mewing. I wake up. I open the fridge. she is so cold, but she is okay.
now every time I open the fucking fridge she climbs in. sometimes I don't notice her and she's trapped for a moment until I hear mewing. and I know it's all my fault.
(edit to clarify that I don't just start new water bottles halfway thru. it's over days and days)
Cats can learn tricks!