The human brain is a marvelous wonder of electricity and mush. So when the brain decides to take a little "me time," it's usually during a task you've done a billion times before. Luckily, a few people had enough brainpower recently to get on Reddit and share their most ridiculous brain farts, and they're a mixture of hilarious and pathetic.
1. You'll never guess where JayGold found his keys.
I thought I lost my keys while driving. I panicked because I couldn't feel them in my pocket.
2. But banana_surgery never did find that phone.
I thought I lost my phone while talking on my phone once.
3. User frogbrigade has a good blanket. Such a good blanket! Yes it is!
Pet my dog until I realized she was gone and I was petting one of those fleece blankets that feels like pets.
4. For this to work, laidymondegreen, you have to buy two monitors.
Usually it involves the difference between the computer and not-the-computer. I once tried to turn off a lamp by double clicking on it and got irritated that the cursor was hitting the edge of the screen.
5. Fortunately for FootballAndBicycles, string cheese wrappers are almost indistinguishable from string cheese.
Took the wrapper off a cheese string. Dropped cheese string into the bin. Put wrapper in my mouth.
6. User liquor_for_breakfast had that awkward moment when they were on fire.
Take cigarette from pack -> light it and take a drag -> put lit cigarette behind my ear -> take another cigarette from pack -> flip the fuck out smacking myself in the side of the head
7. Work owns all, Gizmo-Duck, and we are helpless.
Went to go grocery shopping on Saturday and ended up at work, 10 miles in the opposite direction.
8. And littlesunbear will probably have to move those glasses so there's room for more glasses.
This actually just happened today. I wanted a glass of water, so I poured one and sat down, didn't drink from it. A couple minutes pass and I note that I am thirsty, so I go and pour another glass, still without drinking it. This continues until I realize that there are four cups of untouched water crowding my desk, and I'm still thirsty as hell.
9. This thing that koch12 describes is the greatest fear of society's woke but sleepy males.
Zoned out before first period in high school. Came to with best friend's girlfriend motioning to get my attention. Apparently when I had zoned out my eyes drifted, and was staring straight at her chest.
10. This is like when you finally find your sunglasses and they're on top of your head, except for I_choose_magikarp it's much, much more embarrassing.
Pulled into my driveway and as I started walking to my front door I noticed I didn't have my glasses on. I knew I had driven with them on. I need them to drive. Spent at least 30 minutes scouring my entire car. Under my car. Around my driveway. I looked in places they couldn't possibly be. After my frustration boiled over I sat down and placed my head in my hands. I was wearing them the entire time. All I can say is that like an odd number, I don't even.
11. What books were they, though, MT_Straycat? Like Water for Chocolate? The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake? Cold Mountain?
Put books in the refrigerator.
12. Leave a light on for JakeTheSnakes11.
I started looking for my phone at night and got a flashlight to look for it(It was dark out). Turns out I was using my phone's light to look for my phone, took me about 1 minute to realize this.
13. And then it did for vodka_titties. It didn't, but wouldn't it be awesome if it did?
Waited 5 minutes for a STOP sign to turn green.
14. Have some of trollingsloth's signature Hot Salad.
I caught myself blowing on Salad last night before putting it in my mouth. I stopped for a solid 20 seconds thinking about how stupid it was.
15. BobbyEn9 has lots of fans.
Closed my laptop because the fan was distracting me from finding my laptop
16. Sounds like polite sigurd_syr had a brain fart in Canada.
Thanking elevators and automatic doors.
17. Can't believe that it's the future already and this thing magiccoffeetruck describes isn't an actual thing yet.
Trying to pinch and zoom on a paper book.
18. Spinkydink12 has been cooking the accounts.
Put my PIN number in on the microwave