Pranks: they're all harmless fun until the cops break your door down to arrest a cardboard cutout of The Rock. At least, that's what happened to Redditor aslattery when they woke up earlier this week and, in the early morning light, saw a gunman hiding behind their door frame. The Redditor shared the story on the Today I Fucked Up subreddit, which is basically a cavalcade of human shame and misery balanced out by a good dose of empathy:
Woke up to my three dogs demanding food in the morning before my alarm, which happens every other day or so. One of them was barking a bit more than normal, but as a Great Pyrenees, I've come to accept the fact that she barks at air.
Barely awake, I stumble to open our bedroom door to make my morning pilgrimage to the sliding glass door to the yard, to feed the dogs. I open it, only to see across the way, a tall, shadowy figure with a handgun peeking out from behind the hallway wall.
Aslattery later posted a picture of what they saw on Imgur. When you see it, it's a bit easier to understand the freakout:
I simultaneously wake the girlfriend, shouting as loud as I can for her to take cover in the tub, someone is in the house with a gun, and slam the door shut, barring it as quickly as I could before taking cover by our closet. I can hear one of the dogs barking in the living room, and I can only hope she will do the same, and not attempt to approach the guy.
Smart enough to grab her phone, my girlfriend dials 911, while I load the only weapon I have accessible and ammo for, a meager Rueger 22LR peashooter. I take a kneeled position, ready to fire along my poorly created path of resistance.
About 5 minutes into the call, the Sheriff Deputies kick in the door. Unbeknownst to me, they assisted a deputy over our backyard wall, who had line of sight with a man matching our description, and was shouting at him to put the gun down.
As the cops clear the living room/kitchen area, I hear them questioning my roommate, a former Army Sergeant who I had previously shared a few duty stations with over the years.
I’m glad to hear his voice, as I had no idea what his status was.
Moments later, a Deputy announces his presence at our bedroom door. I announce there are two persons and two dogs in the room, and that I have placed my weapon on the ground.
He asks for me to unlock the door, and I comply, taking a few steps back and going down to my knees, raising my hands up, and nodding to my girlfriend to do the same. I announce my status, and two deputies enter with guns drawn on me.
Once they confirm the room is clear, we’re told the situation is resolved and that they have some questions for us. I step out of the living room, and low and behold, there’s that same fucking guy standing behind the wall, gun in hand, glaring across the room. I see my roommate talking with the officers, and then it becomes abundantly clear;
I got fucking pranked.
Turns out this tall figure holding a gun is a life-sized cardboard cutout of Dwayne the motherfucking Rock Johnson, from one of his new movies.
My roommate and girlfriend both work part time at a nearby movie theatre, and I come to find out that my roommate brought the Rock home late last night, and set him up in a position that would create the best scare reaction.
Well, mission fucking accomplished.
Here's the same cutout, in full and well-lit:
Fortunately, the officers were in good spirits this morning, and were sure to take plenty of photos for “evidence.” My reaction is validated by the officer who went over our backyard wall, who thought it was an armed man at first glance as well.
They had a mighty fine laugh, took our information down, gave us a case number, and now I can only assume this story and their photos are going viral within the LEO community. Too bad Cops wasn’t attached to these guys, because it would have been a fantastic episode, I’m sure.
All in all, I’m grateful no one was injured, and that the officers maintained good trigger discipline. I’m grateful I had some training on how to seek cover, secure a defensive position, and have control under a panic. I’m grateful all my doggos are ok, just a bit spooked.
My roommate is beyond proud with his prank, as he “never expected us to call the cops,” and hand a good laugh with the officers. He gets to fix the door and buy us a round of beers now.
TL;DR: roommate sets a cardboard standee of the Rock up to prank us behind a wall, I mistake the Rock for an armed home intruder, Sheriff’s officers break down the door and clear the house, and were in good spirits despite our disbelief of this prank.
Hopefully, aslattery learned an important lesson: never trust anyone.