Usually when crazy stuff goes down in the supermarket, you have to get real still and pretend you're shopping while you try to figure out what is going on.

Today, thanks to a forum asking Reddit users to share their craziest supermarket stories, everyone gets to hear about what really happened in the produce section, without fear that you'll be called to the witness stand. So sit back, relax, and read 15 of the most truly messed up tales with the knowledge that they've already cleaned everything up on aisle one.