People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.

The best things in life are free; you just have to sit really quietly and wait to overhear them.

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.
$10 says Shere Khan knows exactly where Mowgli's parents are.

Or you could just get lucky and hear some really juicy goss while you were just minding your own business. At least, that's what these people who shared the craziest things they've ever overheard would have you believe. Intentional or not, these are definitely the kind of truths you can only get when it was intended for someone else.

1. Back2Bach overheard a priest completely cock-block a deacon.

I was upstairs in the church organ loft looking through music on a quiet weekday.

Downstairs I heard a conversation going on, so I peered over the loft railing and saw the pastor sitting in a pew, talking with a young female. She was telling him that she was strongly attracted to the church's Deacon (a single guy, early 30s) and wanted to know if he would introduce them.

I could tell that the pastor got flustered because he had eyes on the Deacon to become a priest, not to date women. For her part, the girl told the priest that she wanted to save the deacon from a "boring life of celibacy."


2. tierneyb was the one person who was not supposed to hear what he heard.

Overheard my wife saying "You look really handsome, babe!". She was on a Facetime call with the guy she was cheating on me with and didn't hear me come in early from work. Still the hardest thing I've ever heard. I listened in the hallway for a few minutes, then packed a bag and left. 10 years of marriage and we have a two year old. It's pretty insane.

Edit: Thanks for all the love. I moved out, divorce is final in October. She moved in with him. Life's rough sometimes. It'll get better.

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.
Always the Mickey, never the Minnie.

3. 900yrsoftimeandspace overheard something that will make you seriously consider becoming a foster parent.

I was listening to two of my Kindergarten students talk about Christmas the day before break. One asked "Do you believe in Santa?". The other replied "Yes, but he doesn't come to my house because I'm in foster care."

4. 72scott72 heard something that will haunt him till his dying days.

I was at Disney in high school and I heard a guy say to someone "You're tiggity but ain't good enough to eat so put your shoes back on." I'm 35 and still have no idea what that meant.

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.
No tiggity, plenty of doubt.

5. rorda overheard someone explain the pull-halfway-out method.

Sitting behind two teenagers on the train:

Guy: "You let him cum inside of you?!"

Girl: "Well not all the way."

I finally understand teen pregnancy...

6. emmarose1019 discovered the one way an EMT is just like a grocery clerk.

When the police showed up at my door to tell me that my upstairs neighbor was dead, I overheard the EMTs say"We're going to have to double bag him." Then I heard my neighbor's double-bagged body being dragged down the narrow staircase because a stretcher wouldn't fit. (thump.. thump.. thump..)


7. 12pillows found out someone went their whole life without a basic grasp of water fowl.

I was a waitress and I just took an order from a table of students that were all 18+.

One of them seemed pretty dim with the questions she was asking me, but nothing too stupid. One of her friends ordered duck gyoza. As I walked away I heard her ask her friends what a duck was, and them start to explain.

How the hell to you get to be over 18 and not know what a fucking duck is!?

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.
Can't be sleeping on ducks, man.

8. iglidante learned the horrors of womanhood way too soon.

As a young child (maybe 8), I overheard an older woman talking to a friend about uterine prolapse. I was terrified by the image.

I was sitting on the toilet and it just fell out. I had to push it all back inside.

9. gm98clj's eavesdropping won him a juicy family secret.

I once overheard by Grandmother talking on the phone. I learnt that she has another child that no one in my family knows about, including my mum who is supposedly an only child.

10. And DangersVengeance got some priceless info were she to ever get in a fight with her sister.

"I only had her so I didn't have to go to work" -my mother about my younger sister. Turns out that as I got old enough to need less supervision my mother realised that she'd suddenly be expected to actually make financial contributions like a normal person. That clearly wasn't for her, so "accidentally" got pregnant again. Took me a long time to realise what I'd actually heard.

People share the most messed up stuff they've overheard while eavesdropping.
Work: it's not for everyone.

11. PM_Me_Your_Smile overheard a woman say what was hopefully just a decoy to keep men from hitting on her.

Sat on a bus home from work a couple of years back. An attractive young lady, blonde in her twenties and dressed in smart business gear got on an took a seat (If you'd seen the state of the bus usually you'd understand why she caught my attention). Anyway, she picks up the phone and starts having a full conversation. The biggest 180 on a first impression i've ever had. Starts talking about her two kids who got taken into care because her and her ex couldn't stop beating each other up. The cracker of a quote was "I'm not even sure they'll let me keep the one inside me yet". All this was a soundtrack to a silent bus, not really eavesdropping when it's so in your face but shocking all the same as this fairly normal twenty something revealed openly her mental homelife.


12. All 9ickle had to do was look the other way to catch this tidbit.

Worked at a summer camp for a few years, I'm convinced kids don't realize you can hear them even when you're in the same room literally three feet away unless you're looking directly at them. Best conversation I ever heard was between two nine year olds.

Kid 1: my brother is totally going through puberty and he's only eleven!

Kid 2: lucky!

Kid 1: I know he even has armpit hair!

Kid 2: if I had armpit hair I'd shave it off and glue it on my face..

Kid 2: thats... that's.... a great idea!

Me: ???

13. And finally, thrownmolotov overheard something a little less childish. Just like his crush, we saved it for the end.

Overhearing a girl I had a huge crush on in high school sophomore year talk to her friends about her boyfriend fisting her so hard she shit a little on his arm. The level of my crush on her deflated a bit after that.