As much as we desperately yearn to grow and evolve as a culture, there will always be a few simpletons holding us back. Reddit asked its users to share evidence of this slow backslide into the dark ages by revealing the dumbest things they ever heard from people who were being completely serious.

Let us not mourn the brakes these 17 dolts have put on our advancement as a civilization, but rather celebrate them as evidence of how far the rest of us have come.