A Facebook user by the name of Tom Grim Fandango Matthews—likely fair to guess that's not his real name—shared a selfie in the aftermath of a simple and very cruel prank a stranger played on him. Matthews, you see, has ear gauges, and this stranger had a padlock. Put the two together, and this happens:
"So guess what some little wank stain just did to me," the start of Matthews' Facebook caption reads. The rest is not very appropriate and makes it clear that he was less than pleased with the stunt.
Matthews explained on Facebook that some dude seriously came out of nowhere and clapped a lock on his ear while Matthews was outside smoking:
While Matthews was pissed, for a good reason, his friends were incredibly amused:
It was only a matter of time before the puns started flowing in:
Luckily (or lock-ily, if you're feeling the puns) for Matthews, he was able to get the lock off:
Ugh, having to tote around a giant lock on your ear then get it cut off with bolt cutters sounds awful. Maybe there was a second there Matthews wished he was still gauge-free.
With all the positive reactions—and the fact a lock isn't hanging off his ear anymore—Matthews has come around a bit. He was able to share a friend's Snapchat on his Facebook page:
One day Matthews will look back on this fashion statement and be able to laugh as much as his friends. But that day is not yet here.