16 mortifying times people thought they were alone and weren’t. Oh god.

16 mortifying times people thought they were alone and weren’t. Oh god.

We've all got our embarrassing moments, those mortifying memories that our brains remind us of late at night when we can't fall asleep. Are you thinking of one of yours right now? Great. Now, imagine what it's like on the other side—it's only an embarrassing moment because somebody saw what you did.

It's not as horrible for the witness—just funny. Some people who were there for somebody else's low point got on Reddit to talk about those times, which they won't soon forget.

1. athena_m13 witnessed what appears to be an old-timey silent film, but in real life.

I was in college and it was a very rainy day. I was late to class and happened to see a guy with a pretty heavy looking backpack, looking like he was going to jump off a diving board. He was rocking his arms, bending his knees enough to look like he was gonna sit down for a shit and everything.

Instead of walking around it, he was trying to jump over a huge ass puddle. I watched him prep himself for a good 20 seconds..which was probably way too long to be staring at someone.

He attempted said jump, slipped backwards due to his huge backpack, and got absolutely soaked. I feel bad saying I laughed quite hard.


2. "When an iPhone comes along, you must lick it" - alter_ego77

I once saw a girl holding an ice cream cone in one hand, and her phone in the other lick the screen of her phone. When we made eye contact and she realized I'd seen it happen, she looked like she was going to die.

3. DrunkenGolfer has the auspicious honor of introducing the phrase "dick pimples" to the vernacular.


I was in a meeting in my client’s boardroom. The boardroom was at ground level and the exterior glass was mirrored on the outside but see through from inside. In the middle of the meeting, some sketchy looking dude comes over and starts picking his teeth in the mirror. Then he looks left, looks right, sees he has privacy, so he whips out his junk and starts inspecting it in the mirror. He then started trying to pop dick pimples or something. My client just got up, walked over to the glass, and gave a little rap on the window in front of him. He put his junk away and moved on.


4. Marlowe12 was in nature when nature called. For somebody else.

One day I decide to take a walk to this park near my house. I take my book, a couple of joints, good way to kill a summer's evening, right? So I go and find my favourite tree and climb up to a comfy position high up in the branches.

Some guy is walking in the park and well clearly, nature called. Without noticing me sat above him in the tree, he pulls down his pants and does a massive stinking turd, pulls up his pants without wiping and walks off as if its all cool. So I'm sat there, having seen everything, and now I have to climb down from a tree with a massive man turd right where I was going to climb down.

Still a traumatic memory to this day.


5. At least he used protection, tronaldbont.

I was sitting at the end of a racking aisle at work then a guy comes round the corner and pulls down his pants, flicks on a rubber glove and sticks his forefinger up his bum hole (applying medicine I assume).

I don't know what was worse, an old guys dangling nutsack swaying to and fro at me or his glassed over soulless grimace when he was in full swing.

I seen the whole show from 5 metres away. I froze as I didn't want him to spot me as I didn't need to hear the explanation lol


6. robbbbb saw people checking themselves, but in actuality they were wrecking themselves.

I used to work in an office right next to a FedEx facility. Our windows were reflective, and faced the FedEx truck parking lot.

Sometimes we'd see FedEx employees change into their uniforms behind the trucks, not realizing that the mirrored surface that was right next to them was actually an office with about ten people watching them.


7. If you can think of a better way, NippyFlips, we'd love to hear it.

was this odd guy in my school who'd spit onto his hands and wipe down his leg hair

8. SaturnzIII seen the whole thing, ma'am.

Idk if this counts but I saw an older dude, maybe 40s hit on one of my really attractive employees when his wife and kid walked away. He asked her what she was in college for. She told him accounting. Of course he had a cheesey line that had to do with getting her numbe and of course he got shot down. He stood there for like an hour after that with this look of embarrassment I guess processing the rejection? This was an all womens clothing store. Damn I miss being the only guy working there. My gf does not.


9. This story from JIG1017 is nuts.

It was when I was around 12 so I guess ya can't judge another 12 year old too much, but we were at day camp and I look over and one of the kids in our group is in the corner just playing with his sack without a care in the world.


10. What an Angel, simile.

I saw a woman walk into a Victoria's Secret, grab a sample spray bottle of perfume, spray her armpits and THEN look around (not seeing me somehow) and spray between her legs from the front to the back, and hurry out of the store.

11. deatoai lets it rip.

When I worked for a large American department store who made a brief appearance in Canada, I worked in the shipping and receiving department. I worked with an older guy who was super nice, but didn't have the best hearing. One day I was coming back from break, and as I was walking towards the work area, his back was turned to me and he lifted his leg and just let this massive rip out. I mean it wouldn't stop. I thought his cheeks would be sunken in by the time he stopped.


12. You'll find currydoughnut in da club, watching people eat their own vomit in da club.

I was out in a club once and saw a woman vomit into her half empty pint glass filling it to the brim. I was in a state of shock and thought to myself it was the single worst thing I'd ever seen with my own two eyes, until she decided to have a try of her new half beer half beer vomit pint.


13. mario2isamariogame discovered a lost level of that old video game Paperboy.

I used to deliver newspapers. One Sunday I got the papers extremely early, and delivered to a Sunday only customer at around 3 a.m. When it's this early, I always lift my paper up and smile so customers don't think I'm there to rob them.

As I apporached this house, I noticed movement inside. Cue the smile and raised newspaper as I witnessed a shirtless, middle aged man with a large potbelly rubbing his belly. Vigorously. I approach, smile and paper in hand. He notices me and runs out of the room. I'm thinking "No dude. Don't. Do your thing. I'm just a paperboy. Don't let me dictate how you live your life."

He canceled the next week.


14. If you ever eat Pop Rocks again, you'll think of this story from thewhitedevil42. Sorry.

A former co-worker had bad acne all over his face and neck. While I was sitting in my forklift waiting for pallets to come up the line, I watched him pop a pimple on his neck and eat it. Fucking horrifying.

15. Casual_Username picked a good one.


I saw a guy about two knuckles deep in his own nose while sitting at a red light once. He looked pretty embarrassed when he noticed me gawking at him.

16. 5meterhammer proves that people aren't the only creatures that can grandly embarrass themselves.

I came back upstairs after leaving for work because I forgot my phone. My dogs thought I was gone for the day and didn't hear me come back up. Walk into living room and my youngest dog is laying on his back and my older dog is standing right in front of young dogs butt sniffing. Not normal dog sniffing butt sniffs, deep, pronounced sniffing as if he was a sommelier trying to determine a wines country of origin. I laughed and both dogs looked at me in utter fear and embarrassment. Eyes were huge. You could see the shame in their eyes and one went to the couch and the other went to the bedroom. Neither looked me in the eye when I got home that afternoon.