Fun Fall dates for you and your fun Fall boyfriend.

Fun Fall dates for you and your fun Fall boyfriend.
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Autumn is nearly here, and if the Winona Ryder/Richard Gere movie Autumn in New York taught me anything, it's the most romantic time of the whole G-D year! Of course, you need to plan insufferably twee things for you and your Fall significant other to do, and for that, the Internet has been very helpful. "Check out a seasonal county fair," says PopSugar! "PSL it up!" says Bustle (that means buy Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks together. You know, as a fun date). "Tailgate, baby!" says Cosmo. Well, those are all great ideas, but here are some even better things you should add to that Fall bucket list you always make:

1. Start cooking with a fall vegetable you've always been afraid to try!

http://giphy.com/gifs/cooking-LVBH3rg1BUROw

2. Go out to the park and climb trees together—just like when you were little kids!

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3. Just in time for Halloween, invite your boo into your Satanic coven!

http://giphy.com/gifs/disney-hocus-pocus-witches-10vlYzvwpvtYru

4. Heat up some delicious apple cider. Throw some booze in—we won't tell!

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5. Have a bonfire!

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6. Throw a virgin onto the bonfire as a gift to Beelzebub!

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7. Chant the following, spinning first clockwise, then counterclockwise:

Sanctus Satanas, Sanctus
Dominus Diabolus Sabaoth.
Satanas – venire!
Satanas – venire!
Ave, Satanas, ave Satanas.
Tui sunt caeli,
Tua est terra,
Ave Satanas!

http://giphy.com/gifs/black-and-white-fire-island-12Zrvk5I9NpF72

8. Feel the power of the GREAT DARKNESS enter thine eyes, thine nose, thine ears, and all the orifice of thine body, until it is full, a vessel for the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan.

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9. On the ashes of the funeral pyre, you must consecrate this act in an orgiastic fashion, for it shall please Him act in the utmost freedom, so mote it be.

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10. Go on a hayride!

http://giphy.com/gifs/halloween-fall-autumn-4TTqqym8oj0Q0

Happy Autumn! The nights are just going to get longer and longer!

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