What states would I like to visit? Any states that don't have monstrous pythons roaming free.

Florida, I'd expect this sort of thing from you. But Missouri? Missouri, I am VERY disappointed.

At least Florida had the bigger snake — on July 9, a python researcher in Everglades National Park caught the third-largest python ever found in the state of Florida, a 18-foot, 3-inch behemoth that I have named "Nightmare Fuel, ESQ."* According to CBS Miami, "Burmese pythons are an invasive reptile with no natural predators. They appear to be wiping out most of the small mammals that once thrived in Everglades National Park." So that's comforting.

Sources: Fox 2 Now | CBS Miami