Most stuff you can get online for cheap or free is not what it appears, like this "TV" that turned out to be a board in a garbage bag. But once in a while, a brave hero decides to actually get honest about the life-ruining item they're trying to unload on the world for "free." Denell McCaul, from Michigan, is one of those heroes.
Last week, McCaul, an owner of chickens and one rooster, posted an ad on Facebook for her "inconsiderate jerk" and "ASSHOLE" rooster, who she really, really, really wants to get rid of. Really badly. No, seriously. Someone help this woman.
The ad, brought to you by extreme sleep-deprivation, reads:
FREE to good home. Well, any home really. At this point I don't give a shit what kind of home this inconsiderate jerk goes to: ASSHOLE ROOSTER. He's the perfect rooster if your alarm is broken and you need to be awake at 5:30 a.m. That is his only setting, 5:30. He has no snooze button but will be quiet just long enough for you to fall back to sleep and then he'll start back up with his obnoxiouscock-a-doodle-doing right outside of your windows. It's like he knows where you sleep and can zone in on that particular window so maybe he has some sort of special x-ray vision where he can see sleeping people behind walls. He is also a perfect rooster if you want to start running... around your yard... while you're trying to get away from him. He no longer goes after me as he is also an instructor of interpretive dance. Or at least that's what I imagine it looked like as I went after him flapping my arms, jumping up and down, kicking at him, yelling and screaming, and swinging a mop in his direction. So, if you're looking for an alarm clock with the only setting being 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that is able to fill all 3 of those positions FOR FREE! But you're coming out to catch this asshole, I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.