"The lifeguards were really upset. This guy literally ruined their "no drownings" party."
There were over 100 lifeguards at this party. 100 lifeguards. We have never seen more than maybe a dozen in one place at the same time, and that was on Baywatch. "He could drown at a lifeguard party" sounds like it should be a snappy 1920's insult like "he couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a penis made out of money" or whatever people in the 1920s said. Think of his family. The shame. There are a lot of ways to embarrass one's mother; growing up to be a cowboy, not growing up at all, treason — but ending up as the guy who drowned at the lifeguard party? That would make a mom change her name.