Her family business sounds like a much safer career than law these days.
This dude hasn't even taken the bar exam yet, but like any good aspiring lawyer, he already has a plan to reduce his punishment if the decision turns against him. Millions of would-be esquires will be taking the exam over the next two days, which will put a significant strain on the nation's plumbing systems as all those law students spend their test breaks sobbing in the bathroom. Many will pass, many will fail, but most of them will probably wonder why they didn't just move to South America to find a nice farmer's daughter to settle down and begin a cocaine factory with, in a less-ethically-challenged business than the one they're currently choosing.
We hope this guy passes his exam and doesn't have to send this, but we're betting that even if he doesn't need this letter, several thousand less-original failures will end up copying and pasting it to their parents when the results come back in November. In which case, that newly-minted lawyer should sue them all for copyright infringement.