Karma is only a "bitch" when you've been bad and then karma comes for you. But when she comes for those who've done you wrong, then karma is more like a best friend who has your back. Someone asked Reddit "what is your best instant karma story?" and Reddit delivered.

Here are some of the best stories of people being served a dish of cold comeuppance from the universe. Because sometimes bad behavior doesn't go unpunished (and sometimes good behavior is rewarded or whatever, but let's focus on the bad stuff!).


1. Handle the stapler and thou shalt get stapled. Via CodeDanger:

As a teacher, I get to experience instant karma daily. One that sticks out in particular- I had a student when I was teaching at a middle school who was loud, obnoxious and willing to do anything for attention. We had just finished an exam which required stapled papers in order to be turned in and he kept hitting the stapler against his hand with it open. All I said was "hey, if you keep hitting that stapler against your hand with it open, it probably wont end well for you"

He responded with "I do this all the time, I've never been stap... click

Student let's out the loudest scream I've ever heard. Bleeding. Crying. I'm laughing (on the inside hopefully) and sent him out to the office.


2. Don't forget to look both ways while you cross the street with a stolen bicycle. Via ThePotatoIsAScam:

A guy stole my bike from a rack a couple of weeks ago. When people approached him, he took off on foot and got hit by a car, making it much easier for the police to find and arrest him. The poor women that hit him was distraught and convinced she killed him but he ended up with just some scrapes and bruises.

3. Bad news biker. Via JackReaper333:

Friend and I were driving and we're behind a guy on a motorcycle. All of us come to a four-way intersection. Already sitting at the stop sign that's going to cut across the intersection is another car.

Friend and I slow down and expect the biker to as well because, duh, it's a four way stop. Biker decides he's going to blow the stop sign and keep going. But the car that was already there had pulled out and began to cut across the intersection.

The biker slams on his breaks in time and the car comes to a stop just a little past the biker. The biker is pissed and reached out and slaps the back of the car.

Blue lights flicked on. The car was an unmarked cop car. Friend and I die laughing.


4. This one will remind you to take your birth control. Via MILF_tastic:

My 3 year old came out of her room, and punched me in the butt. She turned to run away and ran into the wall. I laughed. Toddlers are little shits.

Maybe she was just trying to tell her mom she disapproves of her Reddit username?

5. It's a dog-eat-pizza world out there. Via PurpleK00lAid:

When my sister was 4 she stole my pizza slice off the table. During her great escape she tripped over a toy my mom previously told her to pick up. She stumbled, dropped the pizza, and before it even hit the floor the dog grabbed it.

I still lost my pizza, but the look on her face will stay with me forever.


6. If you work here, you should quit right now. Via sauerpatchkid:

I had food poisoning near the end of my shift. I only had an hour left, but somehow thought I could make it. I am brown skinned and my face was white and green. I was sick as shit. I had to keep excusing myself to the restroom. My manager came right out and said, "Don't even think you're going home early." I just moaned and ran to the bathroom again.

A few days later, she comes in. I've never seen anyone look as sick and standing on two feet. She shuffles in. Can't pick up her feet. No make up, pale, green, a little puke on her shirt. She goes into the higher ups's office and begs to go home. I was in the break room right next to his office and heard the sweet music myself. He said, "No. I need you here. We have extra shirts and aprons if you want one. I can't have you gone today." Heheh


7. There's no substitute for karmic retribution. Via Jock_Ewing:

In 6th grade we had a substitute who might have been insane. She would show up and start yelling about the most random things. Most people were too afraid to talk when she was in class.

One day she was subbing another class and stopped me on my way to the office. She told me how terrible my class was, and how bad of a person and student I am (I was a quiet straight A kid). I kept walking and she followed. She stared at me while talking and walked into a large metal pole. I just kept walking when she fell to the ground.


8. Oh, I forgot about good karma. That's a thing too. Via cupboardnamaka:

i saw this lost dog sign in the neighborhood... the dog had a distinct face, so when i saw it, only a few blocks away, i was like... no shit. so i picked it up and took it home... the whole famn damily was there, and they all cried and thanked me. the next week when i started a new year of high school, the husband/father was my english teacher. i didnt do shit and made an A in that class....


9. Motto: Always play lotto. Via RedTeamGo_:

My dad stopped paying my college tuition without telling me (I would have understood if he told me) which resulted in me going to school to register for classes and being told I couldn't, but I had already signed a semester lease on a condo, and ended having to leave campus shortly after and go back home to work full time until I got off on my own.

Christmas my dad have me a $5 lottery ticket in my stocking and I won $30,000

10. Road Rage Against the Machine. Via bemoedee:

I witnessed a road rage incident where a man got out of his car at a red light, went to the door of the driver of a minivan and yelled at the window for a minute. When the light turned green, he went to get back in his car, but his door was locked.

11. Speak softly and don't hit people with umbrellas. Via Sir_Tachanka:

I was at Wal-Mart and some crazy lady who cut in front of the line and screamed at people for no reason went to her car after she paid and grabbed an umbrella to attack the person who was in the line behind her (who was leaving the building at this point). As the lady with the umbrella was angrily approaching the other lady, she slipped on ice and fell on her back. It was hilarious to witness.


Maybe I'm a bad person. But sometimes karmic retribution is such a beautiful thing, I could cry from joy.

Until it happens to me, of course.