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This page tracking the skyrocketing sales of nightsticks and baseball bats on Amazon UK proves that the Internet's grip on our brains is strong. We've been trained to think, "Sure I could just smash the window of a sporting goods store and loot myself a free baseball bat, but then I'd have to put on pants." We hope this page was brought to the attention of London police. This gives them a full four or five days before everyone who selected ground shipping is fully armed. Unless the rioters shelled out the 75 bucks for Amazon Prime and the free two-day, in which case, God help us all.