The age-old debate over men's pee aim in the bathroom has been with us so long precisely because it's impossible for dudes to impart the challenges of getting your golden arc to end in the toilet bowl. But one guy was determined to prove to his wife that she doesn't have what it takes to handle piss trajectory, and for that he paid the ultimate price.

Reddit user Rabid_Grasshopper explained that it all began when his kids were away at sleepovers , which meant that he and his wife could enjoy a nice steak dinner alone together. One of the sides he made was asparagus, which, in a story about pee, you know will come back to haunt him. Then the fateful argument began, and, well...


Sometime during dinner conversation, we end up taking about urinating practices. She states men are gross and pee everywhere. My rebuttal is that it's not as easy as she thinks.

Fast forward to the morning. I challenge her to try to get all the pee into the bowl, without any splatter. Challenge accepted.

So there we are. Myself standing at the toilet, wife holding my junk aiming. I can't let her win.

I start slow, using some kegal action to control the flow. She's getting the hang of this, so I up the flow a little to throw her off her game. At this point the asparagus pee odor reaches her face and she doesn't want to do this anymore.

This is where the fuck up starts. Up to this point she has been doing very well. I am losing and that can't happen. As Deadpool would say I chanted in my head "MAXIMUM EFFORT". I squeeze my cheeks, close my eyes and kegal the crap out of my bladder.

I can hear that the stream is no longer hitting water. Her first reaction is to turn off the flow manually. Squeezing and bending is her technique. I open my eyes in pain and try to step back. She counters by trying to get a better grip with her free hand.

At this point things are happening in slow motion. Fear has set in, I try to dodge the income hand, but get tripped up by my boxers wrapped around my ankles. The hand is coming and I'm losing balance. I shifted just enough that she would miss, but take a direct hit to the coin purse.

I'm falling back as she releases the death grip. Ending up in the tub with my legs in the air. The built up pressure is released, spraying myself in the face.


Tried to win a childish argument. Ended up slightly concussed, Bangkoked and waterboarding myself with asparagus pee.


If I may be so bold as to offer a word of advice? Sitting down to pee—even if you have a penis—is always an option.

Sources: Reddit