Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
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Here's everything you need to know for Wednesday, March 9th, 2016.

1. Carly Fiorina has endorsed Ted Cruz.

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She is likely to be followed by her supporters. Both of them.
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2. The odds of Marco Rubio getting the GOP nomination have dropped to 1%.

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When Rubio heard the news, he was surprised to find out he had a chance.
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3. 'The Most Interesting Man In The World' is retiring from Dos Equis.

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He will go from saying "Stay thirsty" to "Stay off my lawn."

4. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says he'll put tourists in space in two years. 

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But only with a Prime membership.

5. North Korea claims to have miniaturized nuclear warheads that can fit on missiles.

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Each one is so small it approximately measures one Kim Jong-un. 

6. A Vermont man who was charged with repeatedly entering a home and stealing a cat was found incompetent to stand trial. 

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The courts knew he wasn't of sound mind when he wanted to steal a cat.
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7. The source of a bloodstream infection that may have contributed to 18 deaths in Wisconsin is unknown.

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Doctors noticed something was wrong when their blood contained something other than cheese. 
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8. Donald Trump got a property tax credit for people who earn less than $500k three years in a row.

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The state of New York said it was a huge mistake. Just like voting for Donald Trump. 
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9. Rapper 50 Cent must appear in a Connecticut bankruptcy courtroom to explain the photos of him with piles of cash he posted on Instagram. 

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His first mistake was using the hashtag #ShhhImRichDon'tTellAnybodyAtTheCTBankruptcyCourt

10. Obama will skip Nancy Reagan's funeral to attend South by Southwest.

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It's disrespectful, but at least it's not Burning Man.
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11. Beatles producer George Martin died.

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Now he'll never be able to finish those "Game of Thrones" books.
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