Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
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Here's everything you need to know for Wednesday, March 9th, 2016.

1. Carly Fiorina has endorsed Ted Cruz.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
She is likely to be followed by her supporters. Both of them.
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2. The odds of Marco Rubio getting the GOP nomination have dropped to 1%.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
When Rubio heard the news, he was surprised to find out he had a chance.
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3. 'The Most Interesting Man In The World' is retiring from Dos Equis.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
He will go from saying "Stay thirsty" to "Stay off my lawn."

4. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says he'll put tourists in space in two years. 

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
But only with a Prime membership.

5. North Korea claims to have miniaturized nuclear warheads that can fit on missiles.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
Each one is so small it approximately measures one Kim Jong-un. 

6. A Vermont man who was charged with repeatedly entering a home and stealing a cat was found incompetent to stand trial. 

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
The courts knew he wasn't of sound mind when he wanted to steal a cat.
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7. The source of a bloodstream infection that may have contributed to 18 deaths in Wisconsin is unknown.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
Doctors noticed something was wrong when their blood contained something other than cheese. 
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8. Donald Trump got a property tax credit for people who earn less than $500k three years in a row.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
The state of New York said it was a huge mistake. Just like voting for Donald Trump. 
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9. Rapper 50 Cent must appear in a Connecticut bankruptcy courtroom to explain the photos of him with piles of cash he posted on Instagram. 

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
His first mistake was using the hashtag #ShhhImRichDon'tTellAnybodyAtTheCTBankruptcyCourt

10. Obama will skip Nancy Reagan's funeral to attend South by Southwest.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
It's disrespectful, but at least it's not Burning Man.
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11. Beatles producer George Martin died.

Today's news for people with no attention spans: March 9, 2016.
Now he'll never be able to finish those "Game of Thrones" books.
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