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We get it, you're far too busy and important to read all of the news, so here's a quick and dirty run-down of today's top stories. In less than 5 minutes, you can learn everything you need to know for Wednesday September 28th, 2016.

1. A driver in Oregon got a $136 ticket for using a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump's head to ride in the carpool lane.

The state trooper knew it was a prop because the hair looked too realistic.
The state trooper knew it was a prop because the hair looked too realistic.

2. The Pepe the Frog meme has been designated a hate symbol by the Anti-Defamation League.

Next order of business, make "lol" a curse word.
Next order of business, make "lol" a curse word.
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3. The computer hacker who stole nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton pled guilty today.

At his sentencing, the hacker replied, "See, I told you guys I've seen a girl naked before."
At his sentencing, the hacker replied, "See, I told you guys I've seen a girl naked before."
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