7 things you should at least pretend to know today.

7 things you should at least pretend to know today.
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We get it, you're far too busy and important to read all of the news, so here's a quick and dirty run-down of today's top stories. In less than 5 minutes, you can learn everything you need to know for Wednesday September 28th, 2016.

1. A driver in Oregon got a $136 ticket for using a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump's head to ride in the carpool lane.

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The state trooper knew it was a prop because the hair looked too realistic.

2. The Pepe the Frog meme has been designated a hate symbol by the Anti-Defamation League.

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Next order of business, make "lol" a curse word.
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3. The computer hacker who stole nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton pled guilty today.

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At his sentencing, the hacker replied, "See, I told you guys I've seen a girl naked before."
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4. A spokesman for the White House called the 9/11 bill veto override "the single most embarrassing thing the Senate has done since 1983."

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Not counting The Macarena.

5. The World Health Organization released a report saying 92% of the world breathes polluted air.

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The other 8% live at Snoop Dogg's house.
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6. SpaceX's Elon Musk revealed his plan to put humans on Mars.

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Because we're not all going to fit in Canada after the election.
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7. Former presidential candidate Howard Dean is under fire for suggesting Donald Trump's sniffling at the debate could be due to cocaine use.

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Dean replied, "Look, if anyone can recognize cocaine use, it's me, YEEAAH!"
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