The news is overwhelming. There's too damn much of it! Luckily for those of you with short attention spans, we've combed the internet for everything you should know today, Thursday September 29, 2016.
1. Chipotle to pay $8 million settlement for sexual assault case.
2. Presidential hopeful Gary Johnson struggled to name one world leader he respects.
3. Internet sensation Grumpy Cat will join the cast of the Broadway musical Cats on Friday.
4. A new study says going on roller coasters can help you pass those painful kidney stones.
5. Thieves in Washington state rammed a building with their car and took off with $500 worth of bongs.
6. Donald Trump has been accused of breaking the U.S. embargo on Cuba in 1998.
7. All My Children creator Agnes Nixon has passed away at age 93.