Forget the Dislike button. Facebook needs a "Fifth Amendment" button. We always figured the compulsion of users to share every little detail of their lives could one day lead to a criminal prosecution, since it's only a matter of time before someone ends up being bored to death. But based on these post-happy criminals, cops could probably cut down on their interrogation hours if they would just hand their suspect a laptop and say, "While you wait for your attorney to get here, why not update your status?"
He knows, dipsh*t, he's not stupid.
Mom, I'm trying to be PRIVATE, okay?
"Do you still do weed? Asking because I think we shouldn't, mom wouldn't like it."
...and, you know, life.
What is the greater crime: endangering everyone on the road, or that steering wheel sleeve?
No, ma'am, the royalty of tax fraud already exists: they're called large corporations.
You're never out of reach of the long Monopoly pun of the law.
"Well, he's got us there. We can't arrest anyone on their bday. Let him go, boys."
"See, kids? They're so gentle you can just walk up and abuse the shit out of them!"
Wait wait wait! This elaborate deception was by a guy named "Ruse"? Hahahahahaha.
Seriously girl, no matter what kind of pills those are, $3.50 is too cheap.
That's what Craigslist is for, you silly goof.
It was a hit and run. He hit my car with his body.
12 people like this/don't understand what liking something means.
We got a riding someone's ass ticket once. It wasn't driving-related.
HR will have to report this to the cop, unfortunately.
That is classic ridiculous. As in, "Marc was found guilty of 8 charges of classic ridiculous."
You're a bad influence, Tristan. Real bad.
"Yes, let me see your passport. Ah, blonde! Good, everything is in order."
Sounds like you are a "smooth criminal after." You're just an awkward one before.
You only live once, but it turns out you can go to jail a bunch of times.
Pretty sure illegally selling prescription drugs is still the major offense here.
The jury took his tongue-out emoticon-apology into conideration during sentencing.
Anyone who "likes" this is now an accessory.
That means the fourth is the one who took it and put it on Facebook, and also the dumbest.
They're like the Thelma & Louise of stupid ladies with unworthy causes.
"Uh, I wasn't liking the copious amount of weed, I was liking it's capture!" - 3,143 others.
"More like Crime Pays Zero Dollars!" - Someone unfunny, definitely not us.
"Screw you, my future!"
Was the person who made this screencap too stoned to spell "Golden" correctly?
If you're flipping people off and texting, wtf are you driving with?
The shitty hand signs and faux-tough clothes indicate a life of beer photos on the horizon.
Don't steal and selfie.
Nah, I "found" it.
You know your grandma loves a deal!
PantyDroppin is my middle name, but it should be "ThisIsASetUp."
Thank god they knew a cop who let them get away with driving drunk!
Yet your hands are posting to Facebook just fine.
And is this an ad?
Peace and love and pedophilia.
But thanks for tagging me, brah.
Dad's putting this girl on house arrest.
Their green thumb got them caught red handed.
A dead dog can come around and bite you on the ass.
FREE MONEY $$$
P.S. Backstreet Boys 4 lyfe.
Well, at least he's ashamed.
It should really be 3 strikes and you're out of working daycare.
Get a to-go bag.
Ross got to the heart of the matter.