The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.
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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"I'm famous!"

Forget the Dislike button. Facebook needs a "Fifth Amendment" button. We always figured the compulsion of users to share every little detail of their lives could one day lead to a criminal prosecution, since it's only a matter of time before someone ends up being bored to death. But based on these post-happy criminals, cops could probably cut down on their interrogation hours if they would just hand their suspect a laptop and say, "While you wait for your attorney to get here, why not update your status?"

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

He knows, dipsh*t, he's not stupid.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Mom, I'm trying to be PRIVATE, okay?

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"Do you still do weed? Asking because I think we shouldn't, mom wouldn't like it."

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

...and, you know, life.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

What is the greater crime: endangering everyone on the road, or that steering wheel sleeve?

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

No, ma'am, the royalty of tax fraud already exists: they're called large corporations.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

You're never out of reach of the long Monopoly pun of the law.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"Well, he's got us there. We can't arrest anyone on their bday. Let him go, boys."

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"See, kids? They're so gentle you can just walk up and abuse the shit out of them!"

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Wait wait wait! This elaborate deception was by a guy named "Ruse"? Hahahahahaha.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Seriously girl, no matter what kind of pills those are, $3.50 is too cheap.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

That's what Craigslist is for, you silly goof.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

It was a hit and run. He hit my car with his body.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

12 people like this/don't understand what liking something means.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

We got a riding someone's ass ticket once. It wasn't driving-related.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

HR will have to report this to the cop, unfortunately.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

That is classic ridiculous. As in, "Marc was found guilty of 8 charges of classic ridiculous."

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

You're a bad influence, Tristan. Real bad.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"Yes, let me see your passport. Ah, blonde! Good, everything is in order."

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Sounds like you are a "smooth criminal after." You're just an awkward one before.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

You only live once, but it turns out you can go to jail a bunch of times.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Pretty sure illegally selling prescription drugs is still the major offense here.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

The jury took his tongue-out emoticon-apology into conideration during sentencing.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Anyone who "likes" this is now an accessory.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

That means the fourth is the one who took it and put it on Facebook, and also the dumbest.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

They're like the Thelma & Louise of stupid ladies with unworthy causes.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"Uh, I wasn't liking the copious amount of weed, I was liking it's capture!" - 3,143 others.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"More like Crime Pays Zero Dollars!" - Someone unfunny, definitely not us.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

"Screw you, my future!"

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Was the person who made this screencap too stoned to spell "Golden" correctly?

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

If you're flipping people off and texting, wtf are you driving with?

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

The shitty hand signs and faux-tough clothes indicate a life of beer photos on the horizon.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Don't steal and selfie.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Nah, I "found" it.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

You know your grandma loves a deal!

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

PantyDroppin is my middle name, but it should be "ThisIsASetUp."

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

One word...jail.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Thank god they knew a cop who let them get away with driving drunk!

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Yet your hands are posting to Facebook just fine.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

And is this an ad?

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Peace and love and pedophilia.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

But thanks for tagging me, brah.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Dad's putting this girl on house arrest.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Their green thumb got them caught red handed.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

A dead dog can come around and bite you on the ass.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

FREE MONEY $$$

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

P.S. Backstreet Boys 4 lyfe.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Well, at least he's ashamed.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

It should really be 3 strikes and you're out of working daycare.

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The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Get a to-go bag.

The most idiotic confessions to criminal activity ever posted on Facebook.

Ross got to the heart of the matter.

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