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Once upon a time in London there was a pub that, judging by its list of barred patrons, was an excellent place to go for a weird time. The Half Moon Pub, according to GQ, had to close following a flood in 2013, but it may be making a comeback if a grassroots campaign pans out. In the meantime, former fans and faraway lovers of divey bars will have to re-create the scene at Half Moon in their minds using the banned list that musician Rumer posted to Twitter.

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Seriously, this would make a great movie, right? Coming soon to a theater near you is the story of Mickey Two Suits, who is back in his hometown for his mom's funeral after leaving behind his life in the mob years ago. After One Armed Keith quickly gives up his best friend, Tall Chavvy Fighting Idiot Of Old enlists his best men, including his muscle The Glaswegian, to track down the his former colleague turned traitor. Sub-plots include Crazy Linda secretly raising Mickey's child, Flat Cap Coke Fiend, with Fat Paul. 

Rumer was kind enough to share some real background on one of these chaps:

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One Armed Keith is a proper name for someone keen on evading justice.

Sources: h/t Reddit