We promise to stop posting about the Kardashians if our office wins the Powerball jackpot.

We promise to stop posting about the Kardashians if our office wins the Powerball jackpot.
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Tonight's Powerball jackpot is up to $1.5 billion, and everyone's talking about what they'd do with the money if they won. Some are dreaming of mansions in Tuscany, while others are vowing to end poverty in more or less effective ways. We here at Someecards are, at heart, humanitarians, and we know exactly what we'll do if we win: stop writing about the Kardashians

We promise to stop posting about the Kardashians if our office wins the Powerball jackpot.
The (ticket with a 1 in 292.2 million chance of being the) winning ticket! 

Every time we write a story about the Kardashians and their shapely bottoms, their pregnancies, or their New Year's resolutions, we face a crisis of conscience. We know some of you hate reading about them, but for some reason, a lot of you also love reading about them. There's something magical about the word "Kardashian" that makes everybody need to see the post immediately, and we have no choice but to give our readers what they want (even if they claim to be kicking and screaming all the way to our website). 

We promise to stop posting about the Kardashians if our office wins the Powerball jackpot.
Stupid people we've helped make famous.
Getty

But once we win, we'll finally have the freedom to stop reporting on the Kardashians and start reporting on the things that really matter: the Syrian refugee crisis, the devastating impact of climate change, and whatever Kristen Bell is up to. 

We're determined to use the money for good and "stop making stupid people famous." What would you do if you won?

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