Some folks on Reddit shared their favorite ways to subtly manipulate others, for maximum humor.
1. Yeah, we know what you're sayin', BackSeatGremlin
I like to use figured of speech that don't exist, followed by "you know what I'm saying?"
"You can't make a fruit salad if you don't have any peaches, you know what I'm sayin?"
More often than not, people get really confused and just agree.
2. Is this idea from professorplumbus mean? Naaaaay.
My go to is "same horse different saddle, am I right guys?" Completely unrelated to whatever is going on, but never fails to get a "totally, dude."
3. Cpt_Tripps does this every single Dave.
Whenever my boss Dave walks by I always slide "Yeah but don't let Dave catch you doing that" into the conversation.
4. I always look like this, powermurder.
Start off any conversation with "Another late night, huh?"
makes any person think they look haggard
5. Cold-blooded, optml.
What would you change about yourself, apart from the obvious?
6. You just got served by greenleaf547's dad.
When my dad played tennis in high school, he would ask his competitors right before a match “Do you breathe in or out when you serve?”
7. Read this one from Val_Hallen… if you dare.
"I dare you" when there is no preconceived notion of any peril.
"Hey man, can I get a beer?"
"Sure. They are in the fridge. Go grab one. I dare you."
8. Uh, no thanks, Mrfrunzi1.
Every now and then when I go to the store from work I'll say "I'm going to wawa, do you want anything?" once in a blue moon I'll say "I'm going to the bathroom, do you want anything?" Every time they don't expect it.
9. And that's the last anyone ever heard from dropkickkennedy.
A white guy in a bar in shanghai two years ago randomly told me that this year would be the worst year of my life. I don't believe in that shit but fuck that guy cause it definitely got in my head.
10. We won't tell anyone, Empty_Allocution. Oops.
Keep telling them their secret is safe with you.
If you see them from across the room, just smile, wink and tap the side of your nose.
11. the_twelfth_dr is some kind of evil philosophy professor or something.
17 years old, new guy at my job that I would have for 8 years. One co-worker told me, "Don't take anything anyone says around here seriously. Including that last sentence." Sent me into an existential crisis.
12. This tactic by MrCrash2U is "our favorite."
Airquotes. Just randomly "throw" air quotes into any conversation. It really makes "people" uncomfortable.
13. Nspir3's suggestion also works great in cards, on bathroom mirrors, or on birthday cakes.
"We need to talk"
14. Bette21 got her boyfriend John right in the head with this one. (These are toilet words, you guys.)
I've told my boyfriend he says the word 'toilet' funny. Occasionally when he says it I just repeat it back to him incredulously. He is adamant that he's saying it correctly, which he is, and it really fucks with his head when I say maybe he's hearing it different to how it's coming out.
I thoroughly enjoy this game.
15. Jordan1719 tells the tooth.
I would always ask my old roommate "have you seen our toothbrush?"
16. Statscollector is way a "head" of the curve. Pun intended.
Just put a few "sorry, no pun intended" into your chats when there was actually no pun. If they call you out on it, just say "really?" with a quizzical look and carry on.
17. That's why they call them computurr.
When somebody tells me I did something well I usually reply with "well that's why they call me [insert your actual name here]"
Usually gets them pretty confused
18. A lot of hot air from LEGOF.
Do you ever consciously think about breathing?
Now they will start to breathe consciously. Shit, it backfired on me.